Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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