i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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