let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you would pick up someone in the library
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
