what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
