happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
