I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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