Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
