I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
