Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize