I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
