I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
