Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Success! We fucked roommates!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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