So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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