We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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