How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize