HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
