dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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