it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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