It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
