Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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