Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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