it hurts more in the daytime
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
