He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize