We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
