hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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