i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
