That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
