So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
