I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
