i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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