Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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