You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need moral support for this bender
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
