I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
