I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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