I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
