You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm both gender and math confused
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
