Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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