Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
