I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you still have your period?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
