um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
