Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
