I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
