this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
