when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we're making bets on your personal life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
