We need to rekindle our bromance
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
