when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize