you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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