people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
