On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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