does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Two words: blizzard sex
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
