Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
