I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
