he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
