So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize