Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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