called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
