You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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