brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dick very happy bro
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